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Man-Eating Gardenias (Gardenia homovorii) are a species of plant that does not exist.

DescriptionEdit

G. homovorii is a large bush or small tree native to South America (like every other dangerous plant) with glossy dark green leaves and large jaw-like modified leaves on the end of the branches. These lie dormant throughout most of the year, until the plant flowers. The flowers are large, white and fragrant, luring animals, including hapless botanists, to their leafy doom. At this point the "jaws" close for the rest of the year, until the prey has been completely digested. The plant then flowers again and continues the cycle.

DiscoveryEdit

Scottish botanist Alexander Garden was travelling through South America while cataloging new and potentially fatal plant species in 1791 when he heard from the local natives stories about a fragrantly flowered plant that devoured any who came near it while it was in full bloom. Intrigued by such a fatal plant existing nearby, Dr. Garden went searching for it. He ended up finding it by walking face-first into one of the jaw-leaves, which promptly devoured him. His good friend Carl Linnaeus later named the genus of flowers in his honor.

UsesEdit

"Defanged" G. homovorii specimens make wonderful accent trees in warmer areas, blooming fragrantly every year, though they are killed by frost. Non-defanged specimens also make wonderful accent trees, and are especially ideal for neighborhoods with high crime rates.
The oil distilled from the petals has been made into an extremely expensive cocktail ingredient, famously used in winning recipe of the 2072 World's Most Ridiculous Cocktail Competition. The ingredients of the winning recipe were:
  • 1 part blood of orphan kittens
  • 2 parts man-eating gardenia water
  • 1 part tears of an emo
  • 2 parts vodka

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